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taryn?

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don't think twice [21 Jul 2009|11:07pm]
[ mood | excited ]

I thought I loved a boy. turns out I was something for him to show off and control. I am done with that. also, I am much too awesome to be that.

I work at American Apparel and try and not to wear pants to work.. because I can.
I found a boy who I think is cute. we have a date arranged for about three weeks from today. which I think it totally adorable.

I am not going to dwell that James is a moron. I am going to continue thinking that my life is awesome. not in a terrible way, just in the way that I am not miserable because of one guy who hurts me.

I like Bob Dylan a lot. I didn't know I did.

umm, Battlestar Galactica continues to change my life for the better. I am already revising my original master's thesis. I have a more nuanced view. I love myth.

I am becoming more and more vegetarian. too bad I love really good steak.
I move into a "trendy" apartment soon. and I will be a full time employee at a "trendy" clothing store when I get back from Alaska. I don't know what is going on, but I am embracing it for the time being.

I think going to therapy was the best thing I ever did for myself.

damp cotton clouds

it's times like this when you just close your eyes and kiss [31 Jan 2009|11:46am]
I pretty much forgot about this. maybe it would make me feel better right now. just to talk.
for the first time in a long time I don't know really who I am.

I need a new picture for this.

I am at work and I am super bored. I have watched a four episodes of The Office, which I love. I am just bored and confused. blah blah blah.

I have become super adorable, on the plus side. my new amazing friend Katherine makes me happy. I love hanging out with her. Also, in general life is good. so I kind of feel like I am putting all of this confusion on so I have something to bitch about.. at least I worry I do that. I think it's school, too. I start analyzing my life in terms of communications theory and worry that if my narrative shifts then I have to reformulate my future narrative and I also worry that my previous narrative was a lie. maybe I should just stop thinking about it and/or just really think about Douglas Engelbart more because he does make a lot of sense to me. (see, it's all about the comms theory). I do love school and I am so scared of graduating because I don't want to become a real person.. so hopefully I can just go to grad school and resume my dorkiness soon.

last night was so much fun. I went and hung out with a lot of really awesome people and I got kind of drunk.. after sobering up from getting drunk earlier in the day. ha. I love Fridays.
I went to a "mixer" yesterday and it was super cute. there was karaoke. and adorable people. how nice.
tonight I will go hang out with Kat and see Gilgamesh La-Z-Boy. that will be super refreshing.
damp cotton clouds

d.c. sleeps alone tonight [02 Mar 2008|05:17pm]
[ mood | disconnected ]

so I totally love completely unexpected break ups.
especially those with boys who nothing is actually wrong with and his presence in your life is so welcome and comforting.

nothing was wrong.
I really miss him.

damp cotton clouds

[10 Feb 2008|10:41pm]
[ mood | touched ]

hmm, how about this.
I visit here every once in a while. it's comforting to see what still happens.

attempting to sum up a few months of life is simply awkward.
all I can figure out right now is that I smile a lot despite the disgusting weather.

I have found a boy who actually genuinely likes me, which is nice. and for some reason it has been kind of ridiculous to do so lately.
oh, and I kind of really like him too, so that makes it even better.
this week is going to be fast, slow and much too much. and I guess I can't wait for it to happen.

I get to see my family in one week.

I feel like I am brimming with everything, but I just can't explain it at all.

1| damp cotton clouds

this is fact not fiction for the first time in years [01 Dec 2007|05:50pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]


I opened my blinds just as this began, it was a really good day.
damp cotton clouds

all you need to say to me [11 Sep 2007|01:05pm]
[ mood | curious ]

today is my first day of classes for this year.

my new room now looks more like my own room. not my sister's old room. my house feels like my new place with an amazing energy.

so far I think this is off to a good start.

I am actively making myself someone I desperately want to be around. it's coming much more easily than I could have ever thought. the cool headbands and good music seem to contribute. also being happy and smiling more seem to ease self-directed disdain.
I tend to giggle at everything now. especially when I'm alone.

damp cotton clouds

a real human being [14 Jun 2007|02:38pm]
[ mood | dirty ]

I'm not sure why I was so drunk last night.
seriously wasted.


I'm frustrated with Justin. This is way past ridiculous.

Mike is the shit. that's for sure. I've discovered the wonders of gay boyfriends. they're realllly handy!
I need to chill today. Kensington will do that quite well.

3| damp cotton clouds

I'll love you in the morning [10 Jun 2007|10:12pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

I've been partying for the past three days. and then waking up and going to work early.
dancing. drinking. gay bar!
I'm in love with Twisted. it was one of the best experiences of my life. hearts.
one of my most favorite moments of the night was when I was telling Mike I was drunk and he said "I'm as sober as a judge, and not a drunk one" I'm pretty sure I laughed for a long while.
I have become really good friends with some new people that are completely amazing.
life is good.
I am so stoked for Celebrity Hot Tub on Wednesday.

I walked home from downtown last night from 1:20 a.m. until about 3 a.m.
I was really drunk and I'm pretty sure I was lost for a lot of it. I skirted around downtown somehow. I climbed a giant steep hill while I was stumbling drunk. I picked a large bouquet of flowers out of people's yards.

Thursday night I went to the Drum & Monkey with the Thursday Drum crew, Mike, Andrew, Matiss and stuff. We danced allllll night. it was so awesome.
Friday night Wendy and I met up with the boys at HiFi and we decided with Gwen to be catty. and boy was it fun!
Mike and I managed to go to the Drum all three days for some extent of drinking and/or dancing.

I learned about giraffes, always winning and loving the idea of a person.
all in all I'm exhausted but wouldn't trade it for the world.

damp cotton clouds

just be my friend tomorrow [24 May 2007|09:41pm]
[ mood | sick ]

To Whom It May Concern:

This weather is bullshit. I would like it corrected. Ace Up.
Also, I am really tired of being so goddamn sick.
All of these things need to be fixed.

Otherwise, life isn't too shabby. So, keep all of that stuff up.

Thank you for your time.

Taryn H. Cheal

4| damp cotton clouds

that's where my story begins [05 May 2007|12:08am]
[ mood | happy ]

I went and saw the Bouncing Souls tonight.
they were PHENOMENAL.
I've been waiting for that for like five years.
I miss punk shows.

4| damp cotton clouds

there's more to it than I thought [01 May 2007|09:56am]
[ mood | hopeful ]

I got back from a road trip with Lauren last night.
We went to BC to see most of our family. which was pretty cool.
we did stupid stuff and kept a log of things that were notable. but all in all it was a really badass trip.

I have a billion pictures that I will post some of soon.
I did get to see the first wildlife. it was the best. it was a baby bear eating.
and then later Laur almost drove over a deer because it was taking it's sweet ass time over the highway.
we also discovered that driving in a place inhabited with mostly old people is distressing.

I'm glad to be back in my own bed and I'm happy I'm doing laundry.
I've realized that Calgary is my home for now.
I'm going to Alaska to see my parents later this summer, but it's not home where they live.

also, I want to go camping more than anything. I realllllllllly want to. I'm going to make it happen, too.
I'm going to be semi-productive today.

damp cotton clouds

this is the day I make you mine [18 Apr 2007|11:01am]
[ mood | tired ]

I'm at the point in finals that I am losing my mind.
I have three more. one today, one tomorrow and one on Saturday. I can do this.
I'm mixed up in some really weird stuff that I'm trying not to think about too much. I mean, I know it's better this way, but I can't help but analyze it do death. at some point I'm going to have to come clean with a lot of people.

I just want to sleep. that's all I want to do right now. I don't know if I've been this tired in a long time. so lame.
I am going on vacation on Sunday. I am leaving for just over a week with Lauren to have a really good time. I think B.C. will clear my head. also, not having to think about school will be advantageous.

I am pretty sure I have some sort of S.A.D. because yesterday I was so happy because it was beautiful and perfect outside and today it is shit and I'm all annoyed and stuff. oh well. Summer is on it's way, I know that for sure and that's all that matters.
This summer is a summer for riding my bike. That and adventures. I want to get in to trouble and take pictures. I think this summer will be good for me. I am going to make it good for me.
four things I know will happen:
1) barbeques.
2) roasting marshmallows
3) outdoor excursions, like walks through fish creek park. and camping with people. I have already been invited camping later this summer. :)
4) Alaska adventures. Sara may join me for a bit up there and we will take my Dad's Jeep and have a really fucking cool time in Alaska.

alright, I feel better and a little more level-headed. I know what's going on around me a little more.
I do need to write more, it calms me and makes me think of things critically. more rationally.
I love you all, I just need to let everyone know that.

4| damp cotton clouds

"You would see things that would blow your mind for less than the price of a sandwich" [14 Apr 2007|11:23am]
[ mood | unclean ]

Yesterday was a movie.
it started with me waking up fully dressed, contacts still in and really goddamn hung over. I woke up randomly just before Julia came to my house which was at 8.
We left and went to Sara's for pre-BSD pancakes. I only had one jello shot because I was going to throw up if I had anything to drink. It was so much fun though, I chatted with a lot of people.
finally we made our way to the university after Sara shotgunned her first beer, it was one of the cutest things I have seen in a long time.
when we got into the beer gardens it all came. There was dancing, drinking, peeing in terrifying port-a-potties, a lot of comments on my hair, more dancing, meeting millions of people, and on and on.
I stayed until the end and left with Justin and his friends to go to a house party. It was probably the best house party I could have ever fathomed. The house was amazing, first of all. We listened to the Supremes in their amazing living room that had hammocks, a ridiculous amount of drums, a killer sound system that had two record players and plants all over the place. Richard and his friend Mike came and I talked to them for a really long time. And from about midnight until two a.m. Justin and I watched everybody, it was a tv show. We had hardcore character development and some pretty awesome attempts to get laid. Our main characters were The Sloppy Blow Job, Willem Defoe and Buster (from Arrested Development). When the guitars came out we sang and sat by a fire. The Sloppy Blow Job was wasted off of her face and sang with every song but it was mostly just "ahhuuhahahhh" coming from her, she was also eating a twig. There was also a guy playing the banjo and singing rap songs, it was ridiculously amazing.
I talked to Richard and Justin for the night and found out a lot about Richard's trip to Thailand, which was amazing.
There was a lot of gay chicken going on.
There were a number of other events that contributed to this being such an amazing night, but they're really fucked up. haha.

I know, at least for now, this is for the best. It's dangerous and scary, but it's what we both want. I'm pretty sure that that was all vague and sketchy, but I'm pretty sure that it's all true.

2| damp cotton clouds

it's not so bad [28 Mar 2007|11:45am]
[ mood | unclean ]

yesterday was suprisingly fun at work.
Mike and I shrink-wrapped my arm. I wanted Wonder Woman arm bands but Cam put the stuff away to do it before we could make a second one.
Dan and I named our future son. His name is going to be Loki GammaRay TatterChealsberg. we don't have a name picked out if it's a girl, but we're working on it.

my parents left on Monday. it was the best visit. I'm so happy they came and everything. it was soooooo good. my parents are the best and I don't like being so far away from them. but it's okay, I'm a big girl and I'll be alright.

I seriously need to take a shower. so I'm going to stop putting it off.
plus, I get to dance in there now because I bought batteries for my cd player. helllllz yeah.

7| damp cotton clouds

I feel that word for you [19 Mar 2007|02:44pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

on Saturday it was gorgeous so Lauren and I rode our bikes around.
I got my groceries on my bike, it was one of the most satisfying things I've done in a long time.
my bike is red with fenders and a matching bell. it needs a name. and a sex. let's see what happens.

it's snowing today. I can't ride my bike. it's cold outside.

my mom arrives in Calgary tonight. I am so excited.

stop thinking about it.

2| damp cotton clouds

like scattered leaves [08 Mar 2007|12:52pm]
[ mood | determined ]

I've pretty much fallen off of the earth. it's no good.
I'm trying to get back. we'll see how well this works.
my mom got facebook, which is probably one of the cutest things I have ever heard of. seriously, what an awesome lady.
the weather is ridiculous. it's so fucking nice out the past week. I love it. I wish I was in Texas and actual nice weather existed. lame.

I had a horrifying dream last night that Cam and I broke up because he decided his ex girlfriend was perfect for him but she was dating someone else so he was going to kill himself. it was horrid. I really did not enjoy.
all of my professors are getting sick so my classes keep getting canceled and I'm getting a lot of reading done. it's pretty rad. wicked rad.

my car hasn't been washed since my parents moved. poor Tenoch is oh, so dirty.
I need air in the tires of my bitchin' bike.
I'm a very lazy little girl.

I miss everyone.

2| damp cotton clouds

I'm gonna love you 'till I die [06 Mar 2007|08:47am]
[ mood | content ]

happy arcade fire day!
I listened to Neon Bible last week at work. it was amazing. please, do yourself a favor and pick it up.

I'm getting the limited edition with a flip book! yay for me.

1| damp cotton clouds

come out for dinner [31 Jan 2007|11:22pm]
[ mood | content ]

I kind of fell off the face of the earth recently. I'm not sure why and I know it wasn't on purpose. I guess that just happens sometimes.
I got my ear pierced today. it's totally snazzy. and I got a really cool haircut. Sarah and I had a cool day.
a couple of my cds came in today. which was completely amazing because nothing has come in for me in a million years.

yeah, school is busy and I keep reading every little moment I have. it's insane. but! Chuck Klosterman is a totally cool guy.

damp cotton clouds

if you think that I'm laughing I'm really just asking to leave [10 Jan 2007|01:35am]
[ mood | done. ]

I went to punk rock bingo tonight. it was pretty goddamned amazing.
it was one of my birthday celebrations. hah.
I FINALLY on the last round of the last game won and I got the Grimlock Transformer. pretty much the best thing ever.
GRIMLOCK. yeah. damn straight.

punk rock bingo was officially the shit.

1| damp cotton clouds

[01 Jan 2007|02:41am]
happy new year, bitches
make it a good one.
3| damp cotton clouds

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